It’s my birthday and I can cry if I want to. Or write whatever I want in this case.

Over the last few months, you may have noticed a change in direction for this blog. It used to be focused on my personal writing and reflections, but now I’m focusing on book reviews, reading reflections, and other bookish things.

The reason for this change is because I’m gearing up this blog to be a shop. Yes, you read that correctly. I am going into business! A bookish business, that is.

Technically, I’ve already started the business. Investing over $2,000 on product materials, shipping supplies, and pop-up gear means I am very serious about this journey. I’ve already had 2 pop-up shops which have taught me a lot so far. I have a long way to go, and I’m prepared to be in this business for the long-haul.

While it seems counter-intuitive to start a business in the middle of a fascist takeover and economic meltdown, I must remind myself that many people go into commerce no matter the state of the world. And as an artist-YES, I am calling myself an artist now-it is my responsibility to produce art that reflects the times.

Okay, so my art is more like crafting. I’m crafting beaded bookmarks, charm bookmarks, stationery, stickers, and journals.

By nature, I am a woke-ass feminist bookish bitch. So that means my business is feminist, inclusive, and radical af.

Whatever messages I write on stickers are empowering or a big F U to the oppressor. If I’m creating stationery, it’s with the intention of creating a tool that prioritizes mental and physical well-being over being productive or hustling. My main customer is a Bookish Bitch just like me: likes to read BIPOC-authored books, have fun, and dismantle systems of oppression one small step at a time.

So, that’s it. I’m in business, a bookish business.

Which brings me back to my birthday.

I turn 34 years old today.

And in previous years, I’d always feel a little behind because I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. I wasn’t married, I wasn’t a business owner, I wasn’t moving up in my career. But all that’s changed.

I am getting married, I do have a business, and I am moving up (and out of) my career. I’m shaping my life the way I want it to look. I’m dropping the old mentality that life just happens to me, and I’m taking control of my future.

Despite the chaos in the world, I am still in charge of my own life. And that’s such a damn privilege to say. I am so grateful to still have free will over what happens in my life at the moment.

At 34 years old, and since I was 16 years old, I am my ancestors’ wildest dreams. My ancestors prayed for a life like this and I get to live it for all of us. I do not operate alone. I have a whole ass spirit squad who guides me and has my back.

And at 34 years old, the best gift I give myself and my ancestors is to live life without regrets and to the fullest capacity I can. This means never backing down in the face of oppression, always standing up for what’s good in the world, and loving with my whole heart. This means chasing my dreams like I’m going to die tomorrow. Resting like my life depends on it (because it really does). And investing time and energy in the people I love and care about.

This is a life I am proud of. This is the life I want to live.

So happy fucking birthday, Nikki!

I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished despite your chronic illnesses, your unresolved trauma, your anxiety and depression, and hard past.

You still have so much to live for and I can’t wait to witness your life unfold.

🩷 LIVE NOW, LOVE FOREVER 🩷